December 2009
i wish.
i could be happy without you.
but at the same time, i just wish i could be with you. and be happy like we were.
i wish you didn’t change into this person that i feel like i barely know.
i wish you didn’t do stupid things when you’re drunk.
i wish you didn’t yell at me when you’re drunk.
i wish i wasn’t scared of you when you’re drunk.
i wish this...
forreal.
if you’re just going to tell dean that i write mean stuff about him on here, then don’t even fucking look at my tumblr. seriously. grow the fuck up. and mind your own business. he told me who you were, and i really don’t appreciate it. seeing as most of the stuff i write on here, is about how badly i want to be with him. and the mean stuff, is about other bitches that want him....
do people have no decency?
i was fucking crying my eyes out so hard that i could barely breathe lastnight. because i heard that you wanted to hook up with dean. you saw me. i was shaking so hard, that i had to call people to come and get me. and what do you do? hook up with him anyways after i leave? that is so BEYOND fucked up. well i hope you know that i ALMOST had sex with him lastnight, and that he puked everywhere. i...
thankyou 2009
for being the absolute fucking worst year of my life. i hate everything.
i like haikus.
My hands are waiting to find their way back to you. I will miss your skin
seriously.
you graduated two fucking years ago. stop trying to ruin the lives of people STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL. you didn’t even fuckin go to eldred lmao. so do us all a favor and stay the fuck out of it. not only are you two skanks ruining my best friends life, but it’s starting to personally affect me as well. and that shit don’t fly. so seriously, shouldn’t you be taking care of your...
you lost me.
you wanted so much space, too much space. you never did anything nice for me, never went out of your way to say you loved me, nothing. but yet i stood by you, i took this, and i thought maybe if i were different, you would love me. you see, i was different. it was you that was never different. so you left me again, and i begged, but only because i don’t give up. you do. you are weak, and you...
that was probably the hardest thing i had to do.
i need to get over you. i don’t know why i’m so attached to you. you said it yourself you don’t know why i would even ever talk to you, because of what you did. i don’t even know why i do. i thought about it. and it’s just how it is. i was so absolutely in love with you. but i need to fix me. before i can do anything. or be with anyone. i need to be happy. even though...
i just want you
so badly.
don't say you love me, don't even.
don’t say you love me, you’re leaving.
i honestly hate my life.
i can't.
i can’t. i can’t i can’t i can’t. i can’t do this anymore. its going to kill me. i just can’t. i need to move on. but. i can’t stop loving him. i can’t and i need to because its the worst thing ever. i can’t because thinking of everything that happened literally makes me sick to my stomach. i can’t because he’s the only one i ever...
why?
why do you have such a hold over me? i don’t understand. it’s like you have this power over me. you had the ability to completely break me. and you did. i shouldn’t even think twice about never talking to you again. but the sad thing is, if you really wanted to have me back. you know i’d go right back to you.
nataliekawecki:
to the girl that wanted to know when and how it gets better: the only thing that can fix a broken heart is a new love. and even then, it still hurts now and again. trust me, I know.
thankyou<3. i just wish i still didn’t love him so much. all he does is hurt me. what is wrong with me?
I’ll let you get the best of me Because...
i was so stupid to think for a moment you actually...
yup, still really hurts.
all i do is picture you with her. i literally can’t even look at you. and you trying to talk to me, and making it seem like nothing’s wrong doesn’t help at all. looking at you seriously disgusts me. i’m making myself physically sick. and i can’t take it anymore. does anyone know when this feeling goes away? when this will start to feel better? i just don’t...
thankyou.
you have officially ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.
i wish everything would just be okay again.
i'll keep on waiting for you,
if you wait for me
i wish that you would just let me in.
i want to be there for you, i don’t want to see you upset. i think it’s part of the whole problem we’re having. you just won’t let me in. i don’t know if it’s because you’re scared to let your guard down. because you have before and you’ve gotten hurt? you know i’d never hurt you dean. i just want to be here for you. please just let me.
forgiveness doesn't exist.
it’s simply what you do and how you pay for it. so remember that when you practice whatever evil is in your heart. or when you cheat, or steal, or lust, or hate, or gossip, or covet or do whatever it is you do or have done. there is no forgiveness, there’s just what comes next.
i'm sinking like a stone in the sea.
i’m burning like a bridge for your body.
stop telling me
that i can do better, i know you’re just looking out for me. but honestly i don’t want to do better. i just want the old dean. MY dean.
going to bed crying.
again.
nostalgia.
everything’s been terrible. i want you back so badly. i love you so much. you’re my best friend. i don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. why are you putting me through this? i just want to be happy. but i can only be happy with you. i wanna be happy like we used to be though. why’d it all have to go wrong? why can’t i be good enough for you? why do you...